BUY!
Home This is the saga of TSA and the Siberia Gym. Web Design, history, frustration, and a few side trips. TSA is no expert, but he tries hard.
December 5, 2003 Today is Friday. Did you know that? Anyway we have decided to build a warehouse. We got the camp set up and 50 people living it. Built a coral for the reindeer also. Ralph the Reindeer he has really settled down. Will have to put a picture of Ralph on the web site some time.
December 4, 2003 Holy Reindeer hit another record 454 visits in one day. Like that, Holy Reindeer, got that from the old Batman TV show. Holy Reindeer, like the sound of that.
December 3, 2003 Thanks to them reindeer November was another record month for visits. Work; well we got our second unit today. Built another large Chome for it.
December 2, 2003 Never thought site would be a Mecca for reindeer lovers. Yes, reindeer pictures is the search word we are getting all the hits from. Of course no sales but that is life. And beside Ralph the Reindeer is growing on me.
December 1, 2003 Well unit went out for a job. We had a ceremony, drank reindeer blood and all that good stuff they do up here. But progress and the Boss is happy. Invited him up but he said not until he is sure I have calmed down.
November 30, 2003 And it may be that it is children that are looking for pictures and at school. So they look but do not have their parents’ credit card with them. So can not buy at school
November 29, 2003 But the guy you took the foto Mr. Ravna says he likes the store. So got a compliment, and that is better than nothing.
November 28, 2003 Well no sales from the reindeer store. Busy shopping day in America and not one sale!!!!!!!!
November 27, 2003 Well move our first piece of Oilfield service equipment on to the base. We built a giant chome to put it in. A little cold but very environment friendly
November 26, 2003 Whole camp is up and running now. Running water, flushing toilets, you have no idea how nice it is compared to a Chome.
November 25, 2003 Had a great night sleep, except Ralph was outside my window all night. He banged his antlers a couple times on the wall. Woke me up, had to go out and pet him a few times. I admit I am growing attached to Ralph.
November 24, 2003 Well all the locals got sick from the Hamburgers and Pizza. They all threw up, including Ralph. But we got the sleeping quarters in place today. So tonight no Chome.
The Boss is pushing hard to get the place up and running and do some business.
November 23, 2003 Well dinner was great. We all enjoyed it. I even fed some pizza to my reindeer, Ralph. He liked it. None of the locals thought much of it. Of course first time they have eaten hamburgers or Pizza.
November 22, 2003 Got the kitchen set and hooked up. First meal is going to be pizza and hamburger. We think this is the first time that they have been cooked North of the Arctic Circle. And my friend, the head reindeer, well he is still hanging around me.
November 21, 2003 Okay we cleared some snow today and set a foundation for the camp, well just the kitchen. Lots of fun at -35, but living in the Chome is getting old.
November 20, 2003 Well our new store. Okay, nobody likes the gym. They like the reindeer pictures, but not the rest of the web site. So go with the flow as they say. We added another reindeer picture page, plus we added a store. Store looks quite good actually. You can visit at www.cafepress/reindeerstore.
November 19, 2003 So I have a new friend. But the camp showed up today. A temporary one that you just sit on concrete slabs. Well the temperature is -30 so this is not much fun. Not much fun at all. But living in the tent has gotten old and cold. And yes I am getting tired of just eating reindeer.
November 18, 2003 Well the Ivan comes over and tells me, well you are the new head of the reindeer herd. What? Well the reindeer is being submissive, he has given into your rule. I say, right I am now head of a reindeer herd? What will my friends think now?
November 17, 2003 I wake up and my friend is licking my face. Yes, and it woke me up fast. A piece of sand paper on your face and reindeer do not particularly smell very good. This guy is very friendly.
November 16, 2003 Not a move your typical reindeer Bull makes. So my friend plows into the tree. The tree shakes and the branch breaks. I fall down land on the reindeer and must have hit my head or something. There was about five minutes that I remember nothing.
November 15, 2003 Next thing I know he comes at me with his horns down. I am standing in front of a tree and there is a branch about 3 feet above my head. So at the last second I jump up grab the branch and pull myself up.
November 14, 2003 Well ran and jumped behind a tree. The reindeer ran right past. Grabbed the log and he made another run. Swung at him with the log but got the horns. The log bounced off came back at me, and hit me in the head. He must have took a swing at it. Well I almost went down.
November 13, 2003 Well I thought about running but figure a 200 lbs reindeer and catch me running in the snow. So the option was fight. Luckily there was a log near by.
November 12, 2003 Well today the Bull challenged me. He just walked up and pushed me aside. I pushed back. He then put his horns towards me. Okay what do you do? Options are running or fight.
November 11, 2003 Today was interesting. It seems this one reindeer bull thinks he is in charge. Even the clan head (Ivan) has trouble with him. He has asked for my help to get the bull back in line.
November 10, 2003 The boss says our camp will be here in one week. Until that time we live in tents (Chomes). Well the reindeer help keep you warm. We have about 200 hundred here.
November 9, 2003 Okay spent the night in the Chome. Not bad except for the baby reindeer that kept coming in and licking my face. But problem is Chomes are not made for this far North in the winter time. Also rolled over and hit my hand on the stove and burned it.
November 8, 2003 Called the boss. Yes he said that is the place. I said there is no camp. He said you have the gym and the Chomes. Rough it. I argued he told me I pay you a small fortune every month, just get after it.
November 7, 2003 Okay made it to the site. Well not a site actually a bunch of Chomes, teepees for you unknowledgeable people. The head of the clan said some guy came, and negotiated with them. A 5 year lease for 10,000 USD. Plus all the clan would be employed. I described my boss and yes he said that is the guy.
November 6, 2003 Well we made 150 Kilometers. Will spend the night in town and head for the base site. Boss did not give me too many details.
November 5, 2003 another 150 kilometers. And almost no trees, yes we are above the arctic circle. Seen some reindeer actually. Need to add another page with more reindeer pictures.
November 4, 2003 Well another 150 kilometers only 300 to go. Yes going due North, and above the old Arctic Circle. Only have done that once before. Almost died actually, temperature was -45 and we were in a Russian Jeep. Nearly froze to death in it. But this time we are prepared. We have lots of good tires to burn if we break down.
November 3, 2003 Well made 150 kilometers today. Got stopped twice by the police. But got a letter from the police chief. So did not have to do anything, like a banya, buy vodka, etc.
November 2, 2003 Okay, we negotiated and we negotiated. And then the Police Chief said, take me to the banya and everything will be okay. So had to do another banya. Actually the Police Chief is a good guy. We mostly talked about family and things. He is widowed like Mom so may be sometime in the future I will fix them up. so a little vodka, a little beating with tree branches, and everything was settled.
November 1, 2003 So they have impounded the gym. Yes it is locked up. We have a discussion with the police tomorrow. A simple thing here can take days, a complicated thing can take seconds. Figure it.
October 31, 2003 Well we only got about 10 kilometers today. The first police check point we got to stopped us. Seems it is illegal to carry something 40 feet long in Russia. Okay the one container hung over the back by 10 feet, and yes one truck hit us and the container went through the windshield. So what? So we had to spend the night in town.
October 30, 2003 Well the Boss was right. As soon as I said I might stay if the gym did not go, well they all said take it.
October 29, 2003 The Boss says, tell them I will replace the gym. No tell them if they do not let you take the gym, you will stay there and manage them. I said what? Tell them that, that you will stay if you do not take the gym. I asked, "That is not a nice thing to say. You mean you think they hate me enough, that they will give up the gym to get rid of me?" Of course says the boss
October 28, 2003 Well did not get very far today. Actually to the front gate. It seems the new management here, will not replace the Siberia Gym. So the workers blockaded the front gate. They said the Gym stays here. I called the boss, he says give him one day to think about it, what to do.
October 27, 2003 No broken bones just lots of hangovers. Yes took a few days to recover. Tomorrow we start off with Siberia Gym to its new location
October 26, 2003 So the typical thing, drink some vodka, the banya, vodka, food, banya. Only thing different was they build a big pile of snow. about 3 meters high and a diving board. Yes, first time for me and I think in Russia. So get in the banya at get you body temperature way above safe levels, run outside, climb up the diving board, and jump in the snow.
October 25, 2003 The party, well yes the party. Well it was not much of a party, not. Actually it was a great time. We went to the banya. A good time of year as mosquitoes have been put to death, by a few cold snaps. Actually had snow on the ground.
October 24, 2003 Okay, my advisors say publicity is publicity. Even it somebody is making fun of you accept it and just look at the traffic. Guess they are right? But Siberian American does not like humor at his expense. Some day Mr. Schuler we will get you.
October 23, 2003 so guess what got mentioned in an Men's Health online column. Yes really did. Under gym's in this column. You see the word highlight worse, yes that is what Mr. Lou Schuler. Thanks Mr. Schuler for saying we are the worse. We hope a big cloud of mosquitoes bites you where the sun does not shine or you get a free gift of Russian black market vodka.
October 22, 2003 Well just something about the web. Once in awhile you get this big jump in visits. You wonder why. So look at the referrers. and sure enough some has visited your site and mentioned you
October 21, 2003 Well the big going away party is tonight.
October 20, 2003 Well at the old base to load up the Gym and head North. We got it loaded on one of these Hurricanes, well actually I think the right name is Uragon. Big ugly piece of equipment.
The Gym being built from containers, well easy to move. Just nailed everything down, got a couple of cranes, and loaded it up
October 19, 2003 The downside, well much further North, above the arctic circle, and a smaller town. And there are more reindeer in the town than people. But at least I will have the Gym, and the opportunity to train a new group in the ways of AAH.
October 18, 2003 Well the meeting with the boss went okay. Started off real bad. It seems they want me to start up a new base in another city in Siberia. At first I resisted, but the boss was strong, well actually weak. He gave me a pay raise, a free hand, and I can take the Gym with me.
October 17, 2003 In Moscow and my boss calls on the cell phone. He said, come by the office tomorrow, we have to talk about business. This does not sound good to me, but like I have said before, what can he do send me to Siberia?
October 16, 2003 Well landed in Amsterdam and walked around with my Siberia Gym shirt and the hat. Lots of looks but not one person came up to me and said, I want to buy one, What is Siberia Gym, etc. But adios, the flight is leaving.
October 15, 2003 Mom suggested we add the AAH's to the logo. Not sure why but went ahead and did it. Yes, I am on an airplane writing this. Surprised, yes many people do not think I can read, let along use a computer.
October 14, 2003 Fly out at about 3 o'clock to New York, then Amsterdam, then to Moscow. Mom, is ready to get rid of me. She says nothing personal but I am a real asshole.
October 13, 2003 Well no sales to them Horned Frogs not a one. What is wrong with these people? Why would people not want to buy something with my name on it? Well have to move the marketing into high gear? Anybody know where high gear is?
October 12, 2003 Okay got my ticketed order for the 14 th. The web site, well those horned frogs from TCU, well they must like the site. We are averaging over 140 visits per day. Wow! This is a major break through, we hope.
October 11, 2004 So just relaxing here at Mom's. Called the Boss and he says head back in a few days. He said he knew about the operation but could not tell me.
Yes the web, well some TCU fans, horned frogs or something, got some chat going about the site. So the traffic just bounced up. Hit a one day record. What is a horned frog? Must be really mean them horned frogs.
October 10, 2004 So okay what do I do. They say they have to tail me. So I take them to Mom's. She cooks them up a good dinner and says they can spend the night. She made her famous chocolate cake with chocolate icing for breakfast. The guys had a good time and my Mom got a kick out of hearing their stories.
October 9, 2004 So then the American guys wakes up. He acts the same way, that they screwed up. He says getting knock out due to water on a bathroom floor? How are they going to explain that one. I ask, them what is the story? Well they say they got a tip that my former deputy had some associates in the States. And the plan was to knock we off. But they said they caught the people that were tailing from Russia. And my deputy is now in jail
So why the tail if you caught them? Their story, well they just wanted to be sure. It was a joint FBI/FSB (former KGB) operation. They wanted no screw up, like me getting killed or something.
October 8, 2004 Okay I am dragging the story out. But you know how hard it is to write something everyday? Well any way all the ID looks for real. I mean really.
The Russian guy wakes up and in perfect English says, what happened. At was going to knock him out again but he looks like he a nice guy. I tell him you just slipped and fell. Good I was afraid somebody had gotten to you.
Sorry about that, I guess we were not doing such a good job protecting you.
October 7, 2004 So I work up my courage and open the door. Well the two guys are laying on their backs, in the water. Unconscious, really unconscious. Okay, what now? Check for id, that is what cops to right? These guys look so Russian it is scary.
The first guy, he has an FBI ID, what!!!!!!!!!!! The second guy has a special FBI badge that he is a foreigner, on special assignment. Find some other ID, a Russian driving license?
October 6, 2004 Well then I hear somebody running, the door burst open, and another big scream and plop. Okay, I say what happened did somebody just nail these two guYs? And my legs are starting to get tired, from hunching down on the toilet. And sooner or later somebody will come in and see what is on the floor?
October 5, 2004 I hear footsteps and the door burst open, well I guess all do is hear it. Then I hear a big scream and a big plop. Water flies every where. What happened I think?
October 4, 2004 So I am standing on a toilet in a restroom along side an interstate. I am think if I get caught by a cop what am I going to say. You me and the law sometimes do not see eye to eye, on a few things.
But the kid is gone. But I am just standing there hunched down waiting for one of the bad guys to come in.
October 3, 2003 So the kid leave and the floor is flooded with an inch of water. He tied the flusher down with tape and stuck a roll of toilet paper in the toilet. Bad kid, only thing I ever did to a toilet was flush a cherry bomb down it and blow up the piping in my school.
October 2, 2003 In the meantime some goofy kid comes in and plugs a toilet deliberately and over flows the bathroom. He does not see me since I am standing on the toilet so they can not see my feet.
October 1, 2003 So I go to the bathroom at a rest area. My plan was to sneak out a window. But the windows were too small. I got my head through but no way would my shoulders go through. So my next plan is to just hit a good coming in the door and figure out what to do.
September 30, 2003 Okay, here is what happened. I am in the rental car going down, I 90. These two guys are following me. So what do you do? Lead them home to MOM? No way. So saw this in a movie. Go some place like you are going to bathroom and go in and either climb out the window or stay in there until a goon comes in.
September 29, 2003 Well I am at Mom's. Safe and sound, she gave me a big hug. I will tell you more about my encounter tomorrow.
September 28, 2003 Well no plan but I had to do something. I could not let these goons follow me to Mom's. So I had a plan, to get them a rest area. Okay 2 against one, stupid right, but hey it is mom, and you got to protect your Mother.
September 27, 2003 Well guess who was waiting in Cleveland, the goons. You can pick them up from a mile away. So what do you do? I mean they had not shot me yet so why shoot me in Cleveland. I mean who would want to die in Cleveland.
September 26, 2003 Okay got to go see Mom and try to shake these guys off me. I have bought a plane ticket from Houston, to Atlanta Chicago, Detroit, and to Cleveland. Yes, Cleveland, close to where mom lives.
September 25, 2003 Well the guy followed me when I left my Hotel. The boss called and said look take one more, but be careful? I will some people are following me. He said, Don't worry, be happy and hung up!
September 24, 2003 Okay, there are some Russian guys following me here. May be I am paranoid. But how many guys to find skating at the Galleria, with black suits on, flat top hair cuts, no neck, and speaking Russian. I was ice skating they guys were about 5 meters behind me.
They followed me to my hotel also then left.
September 23, 2003 The Boss called he says, well the rumors are still flying that I killed my deputy. No sign of the guy, so he says just take a few more days in Houston. Enjoy myself, and he said yes you will get paid for the time. Honest I wish I knew where my deputy was. He had connections so may be he might come after me.
Blog Siberia Gym August September 2003
Blog Siberia Gym May June July 2003
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design March/April 2003
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design February/January 2003
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design December
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design November
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design October
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design September
Look at the Past History of AAH and Web Design August
SIBERIA GYM WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM