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The Blog Siberia GyM TSA almost daily
WILD
SIDE BY THE GERMAN
This stuff is from his essay "Land of the Nut" written while imprisoned in Siberia for 3 weeks. Yes the German is still around. He got overly excited about #1 and #2 listing on Google for homemade flamethrower.
How many people do you know that have got listed under homemade flamethrower? So now the German might get to use a real flamethrower. Yes he is now part of some military force somewhere in the World. Okay that is what he told us. We do not know where he is now.
No 12, October 12, 2003 You probably noticed lawyers on that list(people to be shot). There on there because they're a serious problem in our nation. They go hey you slipped on that ice let's sue (place name of person or business here). So we do and they take a third of what we win. They also charge a hundred or up dollars a hour to speak to them. That's not right is it? And our country still hasn't done anything about lawsuit abuse. We should have loser pays laws like most countries. That means if you sue someone and lose you pay their legal fees. That would keep these suits that have no real bearing on someone's life from happening. I'd also like to add something to that law. We shoot the lawyer that got them started on the lawsuit.
No 11, August 9 2003 The news is to quote Stephen King "the Organ Grinder of Doom" (please don't sue me for putting that in there Mr. King I've always been a big fan). Every night it's so and so got killed and be on the look out for so and so he is considered extremely dangerous. It's really depressing. How about you make Monday happy news day we all need a pick me up on Monday. Tell us good stuff and success stories and who won in sports. Can you do that? Have the anchorman put his hairpiece on a stick and do a little dance with it while singing Louie Louie for a finally it will make every one feel better and you'll get a little exercise.
No 10, June 7 2003 Then you have Wal-Mart. Where you can buy everything from Diapers to shotguns. "Marge go get some milk I'll get the gun." That is not right. We should make Wal-Mart stop carrying some stuff before they put every other store out of business. They even have fast food restaurants in them now.
In fact they have fast food restaurants in the schools they build now. My school doesn't have a fast food restaurant. We still get the same old crap. I don't trust our lunch ladies. A few of the don't even speak English. They probably say filthy American dog and spit in the food.
No 9, March 3, 2003
Then Canada. Why? Because Canadians piss me of. Them and there moose, weird little hats, and Mounties. I don't think they've ever been in a war so we'll do them a favor and give them the experience. We have the most advanced technology the best army. It just sits there and looks threatening so lets use it is paid for. It's not going to be like that exercise equipment. Lets use our stealthes and F-22s to rip some stupid country a new asshole. We're always the helper we get the little guy out of trouble. It's time for the big guy to have some fun for once. Instead of helping the little guy lets beat the crap out of him and take his lunch money. Buy ourselves a bigger chunk of the Earth than what we already have.
No 8, January19, 2003
My parents always said they were going to light a candle so I get kids just like me. I hope to god it doesn't work. I probably took a whole decade off their lives. My dad is bald because of me.
What did they expect they did stuff like that when they were kids. When my dad he was twelve threw a jar of gasoline in a barrel fire. You can figure out what happened then. His whole family did stuff like that. His little brother burnt the face off a toy dog with a wood burning kit. My dad chased the same brother threw a window. Life in that house must have been real exciting. My mom's brother shot her in the head with a BB gun. The same brother got a finger bit off by an alligator. See what did they expect it was in the genes. At least they never got me a BB gun if they had I probably would have been arrested.
No 7, November 24, 2002
If there are aliens I wouldn't be surprised if they don't want any thing to do with us. They should abduct a few drug dealers and give them the good old rectal probe. The farther south you go the more people there are who say they've been abducted or seen UFOs. Either it's all that beer or aliens are smart enough to know that we think southerners are nuts any way. I saw a book not a month ago titled "How to Survive an Alien Adduction" I see this and I start laughing this is completely nuts. The person who wrote this should be shot. This person said they had been abducted several times. I think it's time to call the men with the nets and the jackets with no armholes. This guy must sit in a room with a rifle and listen for noises.
No 6, November 9, 2002
Then you have WD-40 that stuff is almost as great. We as teenagers have figured an interesting way to entertain ourselves with that stuff. You get a can of it, the kind with that little red tube sticking out of it. Get a lighter or a match, lighters work better. Light it and spray the stuff across the flame. You now have a homemade flamethrower. This will really be useful while fighting Canada. The trick is too only do it for a couple seconds or else it will trace back into the can, which will blow up in your hand. You then will spend some time in the hospital while they pick aluminum shrapnel out of you. That would really hurt. So if you try this at home I relinquish all liability for this
"The German" Installments 1 to 6, with the WD - 40 homemade flamethrower